Shared Experiences
Students from India who are already in the United States are encouraged to submit their stories, incidents or experiences to help prospective students adjust to their new environment. Email your submissions to SharedExperiences@ISGAHE.com for possible inclusion in this section. We suggest you limit your submissions to about 250 words.
Experience as a Spouse
I first came to US as a 3 months old bride of a Graduate student. I came here with no expectations what-so-ever, because I knew nothing about this country, had practically known nobody in this country ever. I was on a dependent visa, which made me incapable of finding work here. I was left alone for most of the day because my husband would spend most of his time at school or studying at home. This made me sad and slowly I began thinking of myself as a loser, wasting her education and qualifications. Thoughts of returning home came rushing, but staying away from my husband for a long time (My husband is enrolled in a PhD program, of 5 years duration.) seemed almost impossible. Then I found out some new ways to keep myself busy and expand the horizon of my knowledge. I started making friends with people from all over the globe, this way by the end of the month I knew many people who would help me, talk to me, and teach me new things about their cultures. I learnt some interesting French, Chinese, Gujarati, and South Indian recipes. Sometimes I would get dressed up in some traditional Chinese, Japanese, or European dresses. I celebrated various festivals like the Chinese New Year, St Patrick’s Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, Diwali, and Holi with my new friends. After a while I started to volunteer for some NGOs. All of this gave me loads of things to look forward to each day and increased my knowledge. I was no longer feeling depressed and sad about being “dependent” on my husband, because I found a new IDENTITY as a volunteer, a friend, and an International spouse who was spreading the Indian culture.
New found Confidence, Independence and friends:
My coming to the United States as a student has definitely broaden my horizon about life and
knowledge in general. I have gained much confidence and independence than I could have, if I stayed with my family in India. I have already stated cooking full fledged meals for myself and will soon start driving, back home in India, driving was never required. I am no longer dependent on my family to make important decisions in life. This instills in me a sense of achievement and confidence which I never felt in past. Though being away from family and loved ones is tough, one can find friends for life here. At one occasion a total stranger helped me move some furniture, I badly required. It would not have been possible to do it without him. I have made friends with Americans, and they are as pleasurable as anyone else. They are not at all the way they are perceived in India. I participated in a picnic in an all- American group where, everyone was helpful, and willing to share their knowledge and showed me around. An American has as much sense of culture, religion, and service as any Indian.
In US, Diffrently Abled not Disabled!!
As a student with a disability, I am quite impressed with the U.S. disability laws and how they affect the lives of people with disabilities.
During the fellowship period, I had ample opportunity to interact with the faculty and students on a formal and informal basis. I found that people were keen to know about all aspects of Indian life and culture. I shared ideas about the situation of special education and people with disabilities in India. Other topics of discussion focused on the role of women in India, and in particular the role of women with disabilities. On several occasions people in the United States were surprised that I, being a person with a disability, had come under a Fulbright fellowship. In fact, the Fulbright Program has awarded grants to many people with disabilities.
Before leaving India, I had made all the necessary arrangements for accommodations, and for using a wheelchair and computer. I wrote to the university's housing office informing them about my disability and requesting a wheelchair adapted flat. I also made all the necessary travel arrangements. All the people-from the host family who came to pick me up, to the professors and the accommodation office, to the wheelchair rental office-were helpful and I had no problems settling in and starting my studies.
Here are a few suggestion for all students, including students with disabilities:
- Make necessary travel arrangements, including planning if there will be long waits in airports between flights.
- Plan for someone to meet you at the airport and take you to your accommodation.
- Arrange for special mobility appliances, if needed (most universities have disability services and they are very helpful with this and other matters).
- Inform all relevant staff about the disability and its extent and the type of help that may be required.
- Remember to keep in touch with family at home and the sponsoring agency.
- Be prepared to work hard and be ready for an enriching experience.
- Always have a contingency plan and do not panic in new situations.
Pre-application planning:
When I decided to come to the United State for my graduate degree in Pharmaceutical Sciences, I was a bit confused as to where to apply. I started to do some research online about which universities and colleges had strong programs in my area of interest. Besides the general education web sites, I found www.aacp.org ( for Pharmacy ) and www.usnews.com very useful. US News web site provides college rankings for various fields.
I established contact through Facebook with students from my college in India who were already in America and sought their input. Next, I visited the specific college web sites and studied the profiles of various professors to see what types of research they were doing. Before even applying to the colleges of interest to me I emailed selected professors. I sent them my resume and told them about my interests. I wrote to quite a few professors. Not all replied but some did. I then applied to those schools where I was able to establish some regular communication with professors that had common research interests. I am extremely happy with my selection of the college. I strongly recommend this to fellow graduate students who are planning higher education in America.
I came here as a graduate student enrolled to do a PhD, with no expectations what-so-ever. Having come here on a stipend and along with my three months old bride, life did not seem easy at first. Both of us had to make many adjustments to learn the ways of an Indian-American life. We were babies at managing a household, and that too so far away from home, without all those people to help and guide. With the initial hiccups we moved ahead taking one step at a time and being extra careful, something none of us had known before. While treading our way carefully, we made many friends--Indians, Americans, European, Asians, et al and each one brought a new set of knowledge. This helped us mature as a family, and take independent decisions, manage the monthly budget, live peacefully taking care of the others needs before self. One important advice that another couple who had come an year before us and were just three months into marriage helped us go this far—"Spend only on necessities for the first couple of months, like food and bills; when you know how much you actually are left with then spend on not so important things like biscuits, clothes, utensils, household goods, etc." Life in the US has been good so far, it could not have been better, but be sure to come here with a positive attitude and enthusiasm to adjust. You have wonders waiting for you!
I came to US in fall '06 on a F2 visa when my husband started his graduate studies. It was not easy for us initially, to manage our day-to-day life, without a car and credit card, but things improved quickly. We did get help from the seniors in my husband's department, from the Indian Student Association on campus and from new friends whom we met after coming here. Now, I like the place and people here. I'm happy to be around extremely warm and friendly people. I took my GRE after about two months of coming here and I gradually involved myself in some course projects to keep in touch with studie. It was easy for me since I and my husband were from the same background (B. Tech in Comp Science). Eventually, I joined in as a PhD student in Fall '07 and it has been great so far!
When coming from India, people will suggest you should carry this and that. My personal view is travel as light as possible. You may want to bring the few bare necessities for the first few days/ months, but then on you will get used to the new place and will realize that things are cheaper and better quality (especially western wear like jeans, T-shirts, skirts, shoes, joggers, both branded or otherwise; blankets, pillow, bed sheets, pots and pans, dishes, tooth paste, brush, belts, woolens, jackets, electronics, towels, watches, stationery etc) here than in India. Of course, I am not talking of the Indian food and groceries.